Monday, January 18, 2016

Norm of the North [2016]

MPAA (PG)  CNS/USCCB (A-I)  ChicagoTribune (1 1/2 Stars) (1 Star)  AVClub (D)  Fr. Dennis (0 Stars)

IMDb listing
CNS/USCCB (J. McAleer) review
ChicagoTribune (K. Walsh) review (M. Dujsik) review
AVClub (K. Rife) review  

Given the cost of movies these days, Norm of the North [2016] (directed by Trevor Wall, screenplay by Daniel Altiere, Steven Altiere and Malcolm T. Goldman) is really difficult (no really impossible) to recommend to families, even if it is clearly intended for kids. 

Go skating, go sledding, play some video games with your kids at home.  You really wouldn't have missed much by missing this NORDIC ... (in all the senses of the word ...) Happy Feet [2006, 2011] (with a dash of Lion King [1994, 1998]Dispicable Me [2010, 2013] thown in) knock-off, except perhaps a broken blood vessel or two in your brains, when you realized what the film was trying to do ...

For this is actually a Hollywood sponsored anti-Semitic production: The villain is a NEW YORK based, GOLD-LOVING, very STRANGE NOSED, pony-tailed "environmental-ish" REAL ESTATE developer with a name -- Mr. Greene (voiced by Ken Jeong) -- TRUNCATED _just enough_ so that one _can claim_ that he's not outright Jewish.  Sieg Heil...

 Good ole Mr. Greene is out to destroy the Environment "up north" NOT by drilling... that presumably would be good ("Drill baby drill ..." as Sarah Palin would say).  Instead, he's out to destroy the Environment "up there" with more generic real estate development, that is, putting up "Green(e) Homes," as if there'd be a huge market for "beach front property" in Arctic.

Anyway, said "Greene Homes" do have enough of an impact that Norm (voiced by Rob Schneider), a "good natured if somewhat loser..." of a polar bear (but with a rare gift of being able to "talk human"), sets-out with his three brown shirted, er brown furred (I'm not making it up ...), lemming friends to New York to "set things right." ... Not much of a spoiler alert -- he does.

... Enough so that at the end he's crowned "King of the North" or "King of the Animals of the North" (I don't remember any more ...)

Sigh ... just an awful and profoundly lazy film.

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