Friday, June 26, 2015

Ted 2 [2015]

MPAA (R) CNS/USCCB ()  ChicagoTribune (2 Stars) (1 1/2 Stars)  AVClub (C+)  Fr. Dennis (3 Stars)

IMDb listing
CNS/USCCB (K. Jensen) review
ChicagoTribune (M. Phillips) review (G. Kenny) review
AVClub (A.A. Dowd) review

There are a fair number of things that I can say with absolute certainty about Ted 2 [2015] (directed and screenplay cowritten by Seth Macfarlane along with Alan Sulkin and Wellesey Wild) -- (1) the film's NOT going to win any Academy Awards Nominations this year, and (2) like its predecessor Ted [2012], it will gleefully get an "O" (morally offensive) rating from the CNS/USCCB media office.

Yes, the R-RATING is RICHLY, indeed WILDLY DESERVED.  Why?  PARENTS TAKE NOTE: If your kid didn't know what a "bong" was or how to "give a BJ" before seeing the film, your kid will DEFINITELY KNOW AFTERWARDS.  So parents, would you want your 10 year-old or 12 year-old to know _those kind of things_ already?  Hence, the film's R-(not without parental consent) rating ...

So why see / review a film like this at all?  Well, (1) I do believe that I could very safely "bet the collection" that easily half the parish will gleefully, smiling-from-ear-to-ear see the movie (though hopefully NOT with the youngest of kids...).   I do "know our people" ;-) and as long as the kids stayed at home -- NO the film would NOT be an "AYO / youth group activity" ;-) -- I'd probably happily join them ;-); (2) LIKE its predecessor, Ted [2012], the film IS OFTEN VERY FUNNY and (3) even in the midst of often stunningly stupid jokes actually tells some fairly good cautionary stuff:

Case(s) and point:

(1) We're told fairly early in the film that Teddy-bear Ted's (voiced by Seth Macfarlane) best human friend forever John (played by Mark Wahlberg), who had apparently married his love interest in the first movie (played then by Mila Kunis) is now divorced.  Poor Mila ... (not appearing in the current film).  Anyway, Ted discovers that John, depressed, is now addicted to porn.  He tells John, "OMG, you have to get rid of this stuff"  "Yes, yes, I'll erase it all."  "But that's not going to do it, we have to take a hammer to your laptop." They do.  But then how to get rid of the pieces?  "We're going to have to bury them in the bottom of Boston Harbor ..." Ted suggests.  And so a sequence follows showing both Walhberg AND TED in scuba gear burying a white plastic trash bag with the pieces of John's old laptop in the sea bed of Boston Harbor ... ;-).  YES, PORN'S A PROBLEM ... and YES, HOW DO YOU GET RID OF IT (completely, without much of a trace) FROM YOUR COMPUTER ONCE IT'S THERE ... ? ;-)

(2) The current film begins with the magically living Teddy-bear Ted getting married to a sweet / heart of gold (but ex-hooker) named Tami-Lynn (played by Jessica Barth).  A year into their marriage, they "run into problems."  To save it, they decide to have a kid, never mind that Ted, well can't (he's a FREAKIN' STUFFED though MAGICALLY LIVING / TALKING TEDDY BEAR ...) .  Anyway, after "exploring" various "means" of getting a sperm donor, they're told another hard lesson: Due to Tami-Lynn's previous hard-living lifestyle ... she can't have kids anyway.  (YES FOLKS, "hard living" does have UNINTENTIONAL / UN-THOUGHT-THROUGH CONSEQUENCES...).

So after realizing that they can't have children, the two decide to adopt.  And that's where they realize that they have a whole other level of problems.  They're told that "technically" Ted's not even a human being.  Well, yeah ... And that's where the film really begins, the film (3) becomes a parable about all sorts of past practices of discrimination, against blacks, women and gays ...

Recently graduated (from "loser" / notorious "party school" A.S.U. ;-) Samantha L. Jackson (played by Amanda Seyfried), yes "Sam L. Jackson",  becomes their lawyer ...

Much often quite funny, indeed jaw-dropping ("Did they just say that?") hilarious ensues ...

So the film, as the first, continues to be both a really DUMB sophomoric movie and one that's NOT altogether dumb.  What it certainly is however, is "NOT for the kids ..." ;-)

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